Sandra, this is brilliant! I do think that if you could hurry you could climb the hill before the moon leaves even if it didn't stand still. [:-)] [Getting back? You'd best bring a flashlight.]
As the other lines rhyme I wanted so badly to add an 'it' to the fourth line to complete the rhyme. Only problem it is singular and stars and light and spirit make need for a plural pronoun such as them (stars). Something like this: (?) "But the light [is ???] the spirit Allow us to be near it if the moon stands ..." ... I wouldn't want to change its meaning one bit though.
It is soooooo pretty, as it is, but having it so close to perfect end rhyme if it were mine I would lose sleep for a bit. :-)
"From afar We can see the stars But the light and the spirit Allow us to be near if the moon stands still we may climb the hill" ..
when I did this I was thinking about the connection we may get with others from afar.....english language is a challenge for me.....I appreciate your thoughtful comments......gracias Jim....:)
Ah! this was so profoundly touching.. Great, great words there... that sort of lifts the veil off our mundane existance, allowing us to perceive and explore the higher, divine entities..
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Great words. We can certainly reach there in many ways.
Such a beautiful image -- I can imagine a pathway of light to follow.
... "if the moon stand still
we may climb the hill"
... how refreshing, loved how you used the word "allow".
Sandra, this is brilliant!
I do think that if you could hurry you could climb the hill before the moon leaves even if it didn't stand still. [:-)] [Getting back? You'd best bring a flashlight.]
As the other lines rhyme I wanted so badly to add an 'it' to the fourth line to complete the rhyme.
Only problem it is singular and stars and light and spirit make need for a plural pronoun such as them (stars).
Something like this: (?)
"But the light [is ???] the spirit
Allow us to be near it
if the moon stands ..."
...
I wouldn't want to change its meaning one bit though.
It is soooooo pretty, as it is, but having it so close to perfect end rhyme if it were mine I would lose sleep for a bit. :-)
"From afar
We can see the stars
But the light and the spirit
Allow us to be near
if the moon stands still
we may climb the hill"
..
wow! it is brilliant! :)
bravo!
Lovely when the moon lights our way.
when I did this I was thinking about the connection we may get with others from afar.....english language is a challenge for me.....I appreciate your thoughtful comments......gracias Jim....:)
Lovely, peaceful, vivid...nicely done!
Ah! this was so profoundly touching.. Great, great words there... that sort of lifts the veil off our mundane existance, allowing us to perceive and explore the higher, divine entities..
lovely words,
they hold the spirit of the night lights.
Very pretty- the imagery is beautiful!
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